The Things People Will Do to Be Rid of Fangirls
by impression
Summary: The REAL reason Piccolo left Namek... this is really kinda crazy, but it was fun to write ^_^


The Things People Will Do to Be Rid of Fangirls (and Fanboys)  
by Minako  
  
Ah, the ancientness that is this... I wrote this a *LONG* time  
ago, and it's not very well written, it also doesn't really make any  
sense, nor does it fit in with the DBZ storyline, but I was having fun  
^_^ I didn't really know much about DBZ when I wrote it, so it  
seriously doesn't make sense. Oh, and anything preceded by *FLASH* is a  
flashback ^_^  
  
Dragonball Z in all its greatness belongs to Akira Toriyama, I  
don't own his genius, only my insanity.  
  
-------  
  
Piccolo was medititating. There was nothing unusual about his  
meditation, except that it was being done fourty feet off the ground.  
But, then again, fourty feet off the ground was pretty normal for him.   
  
It was meditating like this that he sensed something. Looking  
around, and then above him, he noticed a bright light headed towards  
the earth. Straightening in the sky, he headed to where it looked like  
it would land, curious about what it was.  
  
-------  
  
Piccolo reached the spot where it had landed. There was a large  
crater around what could now be identified as a space ship. The door  
opened and Piccolo's eyes widened as a green hand came out.   
  
"No... it can't be..." He whispered.  
  
-------  
  
Gohan was studying. His mom had insisted, and she was hard to  
say 'no' to. Then he heard the screaming. Hopping up to his feet, he  
raced out the door, just in time to see Piccolo run down the road with  
a large crowd of people on his tail. Gohan blinked, then headed farther  
out the door to see what was going on.  
  
"Gohan. I thought you were sudying..." Gohan sighed.  
  
"Yes Mom." He retreated back into the house, still curious  
about Piccolo.  
  
-------  
  
Goku sat in a tree. There was no real reason for him to be  
there, but it was somewhere to be. Reaching over, he took a piece of  
fruit from the branch beside him, then fell out of the tree as it was  
slammed into by a strong force.  
  
He landed on his head.  
  
Standing up and rubbing his head, he saw Piccolo standing  
beside the tree he'd been in. Piccolo was panting and leaning heavily  
on the tree.  
  
"I... I think I lost them..." Goku blinked.  
  
"Lost who, Piccolo?" Piccolo looked at Goku as if he had just  
noticed he was there. Then he blushed. Goku had never seen him blush,  
in fact, before now, he couldn't even imagine Piccolo blushing. It was  
quite comical actually, the serious, green man blushing like that.  
After a moment Goku shrugged it off.  
  
Then it occurred to him that Piccolo still hadn't answered him.  
"Piccolo?"  
  
"It's not important..." Goku watched him carefully.   
  
"Why not?" He asked, curious now. Piccolo caught his compusure  
there, and returned to his normal green shade.   
  
"It's not important." Goku opened his mouth to answer to that,  
but was cut off by a loud shout.  
  
"I've found him!" Piccolo's eyes went wide as a huge group of  
people, mostly girls, but with a few guys, came running over.  
  
"PICCOLO-SAMA!!!" Piccolo began to back up. Goku raised an  
eyebrow. THIS was what he'd been running from?  
  
"No... stay back..." Piccolo began, but it was pointless. The  
large group began to advance on him. Piccolo took flight and started on  
his way.  
  
"Hurry up! He's getting away!"  
  
"Piccolo-Sama, come back!!"  
  
Goku twitched. 'Fangirls?' He noticed one slower boy pass by  
him. 'Even some fanboys...' Goku twitched again. 'Piccolo has...  
fangirls...'  
  
-------  
  
Piccolo just couldn't go fast enough. He was being chased to  
the ends of the earth by the one force that would never quit, the one  
force he couldn't fight... fangirls. He shivered. Even fanboys. Three  
more shiploads had arrived after the first... This was why he had left  
in the first place...  
  
-------  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Piccolo is standing alone on a hill in a different world. He  
looks much the same as he does now. He stiffens as a cry of  
"PICCOLO-SAMA!!!" travels through the air. He tries to escape, but to  
no avail. The fangirls... and boys... attack him, even after he's taken  
flight, they continue to follow him. Numerous energy attacks from  
jealous boys come at him, hitting him and causing him to fall from the  
sky and into the waiting arms of the fangirls... and fanboys.  
  
Piccolo shivered...  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Piccolo running in a cave. He stops to catch his breath.  
Fangirls show up, blocking the way in front of him. He spins around,  
but there are already fanboys blocking the other direction. He begins  
to gather his energy, but the fans get there first, glomping onto him.  
  
Piccolo shuddered...  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Piccolo floating a few feet up in the air, reading a message.  
It reads:  
  
"The Piccolo-Sama Official Fanclub invites you to   
be the guest of honour at all of our meetings.  
PLEASE come Piccolo-Sama!!!"  
  
It is signed the Piccolo-Sama Official Fanclub President.  
Piccolo blinks. "I have a fanclub?" He asks no one in particular.  
  
Piccolo frowned even more than usual...  
  
*FLASH*  
  
Finally it had become to much. Running away from his fangirls  
and fanboys, he threw himself at the Emperor's mercy, begging him to  
take him along to earth... anything to get away. The Emperor agreed,  
and Piccolo was soon safe from the fangirls and fanboys.  
  
-------  
  
Piccolo sighed. 'Now they're back... I can't leave earth until  
I've conquered it... What do I do?' He drew a blank. Fangirls (and  
boys) were nearly impossible to get rid of once you had them... Piccolo  
sighed. There were far too many of them for him to fight, people with  
that much determination were never easy to defeat. He sighed yet again.  
Maybe he could start trying energy attacks... but that would only be  
temporary, they always came back.  
  
Piccolo sat in the air and thought for hours and hours, until  
something finally occurred to him.   
  
"Maybe... just maybe..." he whispered, already attempting to  
work out his plan. "It might work..."  
  
-------  
  
Days, Weeks, Months... who knows how long later...  
  
Piccolo was making the final touches. He checked the course one  
more time, then nodded.  
  
"Yeah, that's right..." He said softly. Then he shut the door  
and pressed ignite. The engine started and the spacecraft took off.   
  
-------  
  
A little ways away, the horde of fangirls and fanboys, who were  
always reasonably near their Piccolo-Sama, even when they didn't know  
where he was, watched as a spacecraft took off  
  
  
"Bye-bye Piccolo-San!" Called a little boy perched atop a man's  
shoulder. The boy was waving and so was the man.  
  
"Bye Piccolo!" He called. There were other people around as  
well. All waving there farewells.  
  
The fans blinked, then were on the man in a second.  
  
"What do you *mean* 'goodbye Piccolo'?!?!" They all yelled in  
unision. The man shrugged. Then pointed up in the sky.  
  
"Piccolo left... I can't remember where he said he was going  
but..." He trailed off as the fangirls and fanboys ran off en masse. He  
blinked then shrugged.  
  
-------  
  
Hours later, four more ships took off in the same general  
direction as the first one had. Goku watched them leave.   
  
"There they go... better wait awhile before I get him though,  
there could be some left." He was still amazed by the story Piccolo had  
told him. To think a guy like Piccolo was considered a bishounen on his  
world... and he had such devoted fans too... Goku looked up at the sky  
again. Just a little while longer...  
  
-------  
  
Three Hours Later...  
  
Piccolo sat in a tree. Actually, he was a few inches off the  
branch, but nothing extravagant... just in case they saw him. He saw  
someone coming, stiffened, then moved to the other side of the tree.  
Then he saw who it was, and waited for him to reach the tree.  
  
"Well?" He asked.  
  
"They left three hours ago, I don't think there are any left. I  
guess your safe now, Piccolo." Said Goku. Piccolo jumped down from the  
tree and bowed to Goku.   
  
"Thank you Goku." Goku shrugged.   
  
"No problem. I know how bad fangirls can be, Piccolo, I had to  
get married before mine left me alone. Even then, some still stuck  
around..." Piccolo shuddered. Then he floated in the air, and left Goku  
alone in the forest. He faintly heard Goku call Nimbus as he headed  
off. He was happy. The fangirls (and boys) would be chasing nothing in  
exactly two days, when the capsule would come in contact with the sun.  
His almost smile faded into the regular frown as he thought about where  
he was headed. Then he wondered if it really had been worth it...  
  
-------  
  
"Strike one!" Piccolo groaned from where he was on the bench.  
How had Yamcha put up with these people...? They were terrible. He  
sighed 'at least it pays well' he thought to himself. Then he went back  
to brooding about the cost of spacecraft in this world, and just how  
much money he owed Goku...  
  
-------  
  
A month later in the Middle of Nowhere...  
  
"I don't see anything! Where is he?!" One girl slammed her fist  
against the wall.  
  
"Be patient, I'm sure we'll find him sooner or later. For  
now... we have posters." Said a girl lounging in a chair with a  
magazine called "Bishounen" and dated four years ago in her lap. On the  
far side of the small room, there was a group of drooling girls  
surrounding a section of the wall.  
  
"Piccolo-Sama...." One of them whispered.  
  
"We're coming for you..." Another one sighed.  
  
-------  
  
Back on earth, on the bench of a baseball game, Piccolo  
sneezed.  
  
-------  
  
Yes, I know I'm crazy, and no, I was not on drugs when I wrote this.   
That's about all I have to say about that. C&C are welcome, kind crits  
are ok, but flames make me cry. 


End file.
